What happens in a first counselling session?

You sit down with your counsellor and talk about what has brought you there, at whatever pace feels right. They explain how the sessions work, including confidentiality, ask a few questions to understand you, and listen. You do not have to have it all worked out, and many people find the first session is mostly about seeing whether you feel comfortable with the person.

What happens in the first session

1. Welcome and ground rules. Your counsellor explains how they work, how long sessions last, what is kept confidential and the few times they might need to share something, such as when someone is at serious risk of harm.
2. Your story, in your words. You are invited to say what has brought you along and what you would like to be different. You can start anywhere, and you can say you don't know where to begin.
3. Some questions. Your counsellor may ask about your life, your support, how you are sleeping and how you are coping. You can skip anything you would rather not discuss yet.
4. Thinking about fit. Towards the end you both consider whether this feels like the right kind of help and whether you would like to carry on.
5. Agreeing next steps. Usually a regular day and time, often weekly, and how to cancel or change an appointment.

Will I have to talk about everything straight away?

No. A good counsellor does not push. Many people find the first session is mostly about getting a feel for the room and the person, and the deeper things come out as trust grows. It is perfectly normal to feel nervous, to be tearful, or to find the words don't come easily. Your counsellor has seen all of that before.

How many sessions will I need?

It varies. Some people come for a short block of around six to twelve weekly sessions with a particular worry in mind. Others prefer open-ended counselling that carries on for months or longer. Your counsellor may suggest reviewing how it is going every so often. It is fair to ask at the first session how they would expect it to go.

Roughly what does it cost?

Private counselling in the UK commonly costs around £45 to £90 a session, usually for 50 minutes to an hour, with more in some cities. Some counsellors offer a lower fee if money is tight, and some offer a free or reduced first chat. Charities and community services may charge on a sliding scale. Check the fee, the length of a session and the cancellation terms before you book.

Where it fits alongside NHS care

The NHS offers talking therapies, often through your GP or by referring yourself, though waiting times can be long in some areas. Many people use private counselling instead of waiting or alongside NHS support, and tell their GP they are doing so. Counselling is not a replacement for medical care, so please don't stop or change any treatment without speaking to the person who prescribed it.

How to choose a counsellor

Counselling is not a protected title in the UK, so it is worth checking training and membership. Many counsellors belong to a professional body such as the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) or the UK Council for Psychotherapy, and follow its ethical framework. Ask about their training, whether they have supervision, and what sort of approach they use. Remember that feeling understood and safe with them matters more than anything on a website. A good counsellor will tell you if another kind of help would suit you better first.

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